I just don't get it.
WHY?!?
Why do people like football? As I write this post, I'm sure all football players/fans will be thinking of ways to pommel me into the ground, but really? Why on earth does anybody like this sport?
Reasons it makes no sense:
1. All the pauses. The clock will run for a minute straight. Tops. Then we need to stop it so everyone can get situated to run at each other again and try to get to the other end of the field. Sure it sounds fun, but it's unbelievably boring to watch. You get your hopes up and then boom. Wait around for 3 minutes for a whopping 30 second of play. Then by the time "15 minutes" of the first quarter have gone by it's really been an hour. So, you end up wasting 4ish hours, in freezing cold, behind the fat, smelly beer-burp man, who is yelling for the opposite team.
2. It's football... and yet they mainly toss, throw, and catch... with hands...
3. Weather. Sometimes it's favorable... it you live in Texas, or the south. Anywhere else it's freaking cold, and the metal benches do not help.
4. Other people. You're around all these people who momentarily lose any sense of humanity. Ever seen the mess left behind after a game? It atrocious! Not to include the leaky, smelly bathrooms. Plus, there are so many people, you inevitably have to sit next to one of the following: Drunk, fat, hot-dog fart man(essentially the same as aforementioned beer-burp man). Slutty, middle-aged, fake boob mom. Her son is some lunk of a guy on the team. Frat boys, drunk, naked and profane. Family-with-whiny-children-that-parents-ignore.(The kids have it figured out. It's cold, loud and boooring!) Female students wearing inane amounts of perfume, heels of death, and too-little clothing. They scream at the wrong times, or gossip the whole time. Or the band. Collection of louder than loud, nerdy students.(I can say that. I am one).
5. On a more pronounced tone, the football team is notoriously the money sucking vacuum in any scholastic organization. Some schools are worse than others, and the football team avoids program cuttage before art, music, Science, English, Math, and all other sports teams. (usually in that order, too). More people make it into professions completely unrelated to anything football related, and even fewer make it to a professional football playing career.
6. All the advertising. My stance on how evil advertising is remains steadfast and unshakeable. So, in combination with all the breaks and pauses in football comes a flurry of advertisements. Even stadiums are filled with a mishmash of "supporting" companies. And super bowl commercials are famous. I know people who watch the super bowl for the commercials alone. Tell me, America, how is that NOT brainwashing?
So again, to the 90-something percent of Americans who adore football for some strange, baffling reason; could ya calm down? It's really not that great.
Also, please do not even attempt to change my opinion. I've felt this way since I was five years old and couldn't figure out why my daddy was glued to the screen during the autumn. Once I'm done with marching band, I will probably never even go to a football game ever again.
